Beware of Trojan Horses (“The Kiwi” strikes again)

Heatons Gap, AustraliaI have a couple of things to say about this photo.

Firstly, it is Heatons Gap in the Watagan Mountains to the north of Sydney. It starts off steep and then it really gets steep. This photograph of me was taken on a training run with a backpack loaded with a 20-kilo sand bag.

Yeah I know it seemed like a good idea down in the car park, hindsight is a marvellous thing…

Secondly, if you are wondering what I’m saying, I’ll give you the sanitized version – if I ever catch up to “The Kiwi” he’ll be plucked…

“The Kiwi” is my brother-in-law.

The Kiwi - I often wondered how he arrived "Across the Ditch"
The Kiwi – I’ve often wondered how he arrived “Across the Ditch”
Baz - Mountain Run, Coast to Coast Race, New Zealand
Baz – Mountain Run, Coast to Coast Race, New Zealand

Yeah that’s right, the bloke that had me signed up for a run, cycle, and kayak, from the West Coast of New Zealand to the East Coast in less than 24 hours, a couple of years back…

Now I will admit there was beer involved in the lead-up to being “pressed ganged” by “The Kiwi” to the start line on that occasion. Come to think about it my skydiving career had its genesis in the bottom of a beer glass in the early 1980s during a session with Bluey and the boys at the Breakfast Creek hotel in Brisbane.

Skydiving at Picton, Australia
Skydiving at Picton, Australia

Yes, I heard you saying there’s a bit of a pattern developing here…

But hey, in my defence, I was young and stupid back then.

At least I can say that I have moved forward over the years, now I’m only stupid!

I didn’t know “The Kiwi” back then, he was too busy jumping off cliffs with a parachute on his back, paragliding around New Zealand’s north island.

Anyway, “The Kiwi” calls me up a little while back…

“Baz, I’m turning 50-years young on 13 September and I thought we could have a few beers”.

Now you’ve got to be very cautious of Kiwi’s offering to buy you a beer, especially if you’re an Aussie. It’s a long story, but there was an under-arm bowling incident in a cricket game way back in 1981 from which they cannot move on. So if they are being nice, there is bound to be a catch, if you’ll pardon the pun…

“What is the catch”, I asked…

“None”, he said, “but I thought we might walk to the pub”.

“That’s sounds sensible”

Alarm bells were ringing inside my head, after all this is months away, but his shout, so why not?

“Walk” I said,

“We’ll, walk and run, after all the quicker we get there the more time we get before the girls come looking for us”.

Um, that would be Leah and Janet.

Leah and Janet (You boy's don't know how lucky you are!)
Leah and Janet (You boy’s don’t know how lucky you are!)

Strewth, I’m thinking “The Kiwi” is actually talking sense for a change!

“Yep, sign me up” I said without further delay…

Well sign me up he did…

Today our entries for the Great North Walk 100, a 100-kilometre run through the Australian bush on September 13, up and down a mountain range that will take us around 18-20 hours to complete, was accepted.

Fortunately we are no strangers to the area and we’ll be doing a training run up Heatons Gap this weekend, the first of many…

Strewth, I’m starting to feel thirsty just thinking about it…

Wish us luck; we’ll need it that’s for sure!

Anyway, the moral of the story (if there needs to be one) is if you are going to drink beer with a Kiwi, The Kiwi, then accept all may not be what it seems – so just gulp it down and enjoy the experience!

 Footnote (for the uninitiated):

“Kiwi” is the name given to a small flightless bird that is native to New Zealand, and New Zealander’s are usually referred to as Kiwi’s…

And where is New Zealand I hear you ask?

Well, it is not too far across “The Ditch” – The Tasman Sea; just think of it as an outpost of Sydney’s Bondi Beach! 😉

27 thoughts on “Beware of Trojan Horses (“The Kiwi” strikes again)

  1. restlessjo June 23, 2014 / 7:36 am

    One beer leads to another… will you never learn? 🙂 🙂
    Fabulous skydiving shot!


  2. June 13, 2014 / 7:32 pm

    What a post! How exciting each frame ! So glad to finally catch up with your life. I prefer to insert “wise” for stupid at my age : )) Good luck though I doubt you need it!


  3. The Guat June 7, 2014 / 8:45 am

    Thanks for the definition of Kiwi…you know out here in California it’s just a piece of fruit and I thought you just really really liked him. Ha! 🙂 Flightless bird … ha beware of having beers with flightless birds … they’ll probably have you go skydiving with your whole family after your big race 🙂 Good luck can’t wait to read about it.


  4. Tiny June 5, 2014 / 8:59 am

    Great! I like The Kiwi already! Looking fwd to it 🙂


  5. Ingrid June 5, 2014 / 7:12 am

    Ah, my daughter loved Bondi Beach when she studied in Sydney. Best of luck on the race 🙂


  6. Cowboys and Crossbones June 4, 2014 / 4:56 am

    The best decisions in the world are made while under the influence of a few beers! Best of luck to you in the upcoming race!


  7. Gallivanta June 3, 2014 / 7:30 pm

    I don’t know..shakes head…these Kiwis! Lead you up the garden path and then some. 😀


    • Baz - The Landy June 3, 2014 / 9:17 pm

      Strewth, you’ve just got to keep your eye on them! 😉


  8. Dan W June 3, 2014 / 10:13 am

    I’m also afraid to ask, but which one of you will be carrying the keg to the pub?


  9. barbara grandberg June 3, 2014 / 6:04 am

    good luck…looking forward to reading all about your training and the ‘walk’ :}


    • Baz - The Landy June 3, 2014 / 8:17 am

      Hi BG, it has kept me off the rower a bit recently, I’ve been sneaking in some runs, but don’t tell The Kiwi…


  10. kiwiskan June 3, 2014 / 6:01 am

    …and Australia is an island off the West Coast of New Zealand 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Baz - The Landy June 3, 2014 / 8:16 am

      I should have seen that one coming from you! 😉


    • Lavinia Ross June 3, 2014 / 8:52 am

      Oh, that hurts just to look at that photo of your leg all bruised like that!


      • Baz - The Landy June 3, 2014 / 11:02 am

        Oddly, very painful at the time it happened, but could still walk okay. A month later had surgery to tie it all back on!


  11. Lavinia Ross June 3, 2014 / 1:16 am

    Great photos, especially the skydiving. Good luck on the Great North Walk 100, and most of all, have fun! Sounds like a wonderful adventure.


  12. Naomi Baltuck June 3, 2014 / 1:08 am

    Very good! Can’t wait to hear all about it!


    • Baz - The Landy June 3, 2014 / 8:13 am

      Bloody ambulance chasers! 😉

      (Thanks Naomi) 🙂


  13. nancytex2013 June 3, 2014 / 1:07 am

    How perfectly awesome and scary and gross…as all challenges should be! 🙂
    Go Baz!!

    I just took on my biggest hike to date: I went from the south rim of the Grand Canyon down to the Colorado River and back up to the rim last Thursday. 19.43 miles round trip. Lost `4,400′ in elevation going down (which was no problem, really) but then had to climb 4,400′ elevation change coming back up. BRUTAL! And amazing! Captured it in a video blog post! 🙂


    • Baz - The Landy June 3, 2014 / 8:12 am

      You’ll have to come over and do a walk here, the Great North Walk (Sydney to Newcastle – 240 kilometres) is spectacular. And yes, The Kiwi sucked me into that one as well…


      • nancytex2013 June 3, 2014 / 8:15 am

        Suh-weet!! One of these days I will make it over there. Count on it!

        Liked by 1 person

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