abseiling

But Baz – You can’t even tie your shoelaces

August 8, 2012September 6, 2012XPLORE - Out and About2 Comments

Okay, confession time, I can’t tie my shoelaces.

Phew! That wasn’t too bad now I’ve finally got it off my chest, in fact, I don’t think I’ve ever admitted that before.

Actually, I did admit it to TomO, my 12 year-old son a few years back when he was struggling with the concept. And I recall being a little snookered at the time, especially when he asked for a demo of how it was done. I just didn’t want to go there and let’s face it there are plenty of things that can mess around with a young mind and this didn’t need to be one of them. So I ‘fessed up and sent him to speak with his mother.

And speaking of his mother, I did mention it to Janet, as there was some risk of tripping over as I led her arm-in-arm down the aisle on our wedding day. Believe me, I’m assured of tripping at least once a week with the way I tie my shoelaces. Imagine the wedding shots with me sporting a black eye in them, all because I tripped on a rogue shoelace that had come undone. I’m sure many would find the recounting of such a story funny, but I’d be the brunt of endless jokes down at the local football club.

“Hey Baz, you didn’t even get down the aisle and you’re sporting a black eye already”. Bluey and the boys would be on to me with the ferocity of a ‘pit-bull terrier’ nipping at your heels…

I ran the gauntlet when playing football as a pre-pubescent teenager growing up in Townsville. The other boys were always impressed my mother turned up for every single game we played, always on the sideline cheering away, but of course I never told them that mum and I ducked around to the back of the sheds before the game so she could tie my boots up.

Only a loving mother could do that, and boy it saved me from embarrassment at a very delicate age. We won every game that year and the boys nominated mum as our lucky charm.

I think I can even trace back my life-long habit of sleeping without bed-clothes, you know, in the nude, due to this problem, despite telling Janet I was just a new-age type of guy. It did start a trend though…

Stay with me here!

Remember those flannelette pyjamas, the ones with the draw-cord that you had to tie off?

I still have nightmares over them, and go into a cold-sweat whenever I pass a rack of them at our local K-Mart store…

I used to tie them off in my usual way, but after a few tosses and turns in the bed my bow would become a knot. Invariably I’d wake up needing to visit the little room, you know, the call of nature, make a quick dash down the hallway worried I might only just make it, only to find the knot at the last critical moment.

Talk about panic, sheer panic!

No one ever owned up to who hid the scissors in the little room, although I think mum has always suspected me. Perhaps the tell tale sign was a severed cord in my pyjamas, but funny as it seems now, she never asked why I didn’t need any new pyjamas from that moment on.

And what about Dunlop Volleys, I had stacks of those in my young adult years. The first thing I did when I opened the box was to rip the laces out and throw them away, problem solved. I thought it looked so cool walking around in them without laces. Mind you it should come as no surprise that I would put that sort of spin on it.

It did look cool, didn’t it?

I mean Janet never said it didn’t, but back then we were freshly wedded and you know how those things work, nodding yes, but thinking no! Mind you she never criticised those yellow pants I used to wear, well not back then anyway, but she’s managed to toss that one out there a couple of times recently…

These days if I had a pair of the old Dunlop’s on without laces someone would be offering me 5 bucks to buy some and telling me to keep the change to get myself a feed.

While we’re on shoes, how good are running shoes these days? The ones with the Quicklace for one pull tightening, no need to tie anything. I was right on to them when they first came out. My running mates were impressed and I was singing their virtues so often that I’m sure they must have been thinking I was on some sort of retainer from the company. The unfortunate downside is they made my stockpile of Dunlop Volley’s redundant, after all how am I supposed to offload a dozen pair without shoelaces?

So by now you are probably thinking, okay Baz, bravo, but what’s with it? I’m sure there are others with a similar problem even if we’ve never come across them…

Well you see any mountaineer worth his or her salt will have a repertoire of some complex knots that they can perform blindfolded. And I’m sure there is one knot for every letter in the alphabet, and then a hundred more! The girth hitch, a water knot, a figure eight fisherman’s knot, the munter hitch, and something called a stopper knot that sounds like it’s a pretty important one.

On a recent abseiling course my marker was finally called in…

I had a quick mental debate over whether I should admit to our instructor that I couldn’t tie my shoelaces, but thought better of it because it might be me first up on the rope after I’ve tied it off.

Besides, I’m sure there is a climber’s creed that says something like, you tied it, you try it!

And it would save them any embarrassment when under cross-examination in a coronial inquiry.

Imagine having to defend a fact that you allowed someone who could not tie their shoelaces to tie off the anchor points on top of the cliff that lead to the sudden demise of some poor family man with a dozen mouths to feed.

Yep, there’d be no doubting they’d be too smart to be caught out like that, so it was more likely to be me abseiling at 100 kilometres an hour with one end of the rope in each hand.

Mind you I did think of mum, but a fear of heights ruled her out. Besides, would I really want my mother with me asking have I got my handkerchief just as I’m about to abseil over the edge?

So here it was, my moment of truth. Actually it wasn’t too bad.

They all thought it was a great joke and everyone laughed loudly. Even though this was serious business it could still be fun and there is nothing like a rope joke to break the ice.

But the laughing floated away into the valley below when I explained it was true! I could even see a couple of them processing this and clearly questioning in their minds whether it was in fact a tree root I tripped on as we made our way down to the cliff-face from the carpark. And like wandering eyes drawn to the busom of a woman in a low cut dress, they spent the rest of the day fixated on my shoes.

Our instructor was quite good about it really and offered some comforting words and said I shouldn’t worry as there are probably many people like me, and thinking they probably weren’t abseilers though.

As soon as I turned my back he was right on to those knots I tied. Struth, I would have been if I was him, especially as he was clipped on a safety line that I had just tied-off. The colour drained from his face as he stepped back from the cliff edge, shaking visibly!

But we did work away at those knots; the figure eight was popular, very strong and guaranteed to hold everything in place, just as long as you got it right. I practised away, at times feeling like I had a fistful of thumbs as I worked on those fisherman’s knots. But I was mastering it, on my way to becoming a pro!

And my rigging was successfully put to the test; but mind you I still have a problem of sorts.

I’ve been working so fervently on my climber’s knots that I still haven’t got around to working out how to tie my shoelaces.

Remember as a kid when you got your first pair of shiny black shoes?

I do. I refused to take them off for a week, even insisting on wearing them to bed despite being offered as much ice-cream I could eat in return for removing them.

You see I’ve been practicing my fisherman’s knot on my work shoes (Doh!) and anyone with even a basic understanding of knots will know the fisherman’s knot is designed to never come undone, something I overlooked as I was high-fiving TomO.

The penny dropped as I headed for a shower and I wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry, and a couple of those naughty words did slip out.

But there we have it, tonight it looks like I’m going to bed with my shoes on for the first time in years and no amount of ice-cream is going to save the situation. I just need to broach the topic with Janet.

It’s kind of funny really; here I am dressed to the nines for bed in just my work shoes. Who would have thought my mountaineering journey would have a twist like this in it?

Am I alone on this one, or is there a huge group, inspired by my confession, about to come-out?

Come on; join the movement… if you belong, I’ve got some Dunlop Volley’s you can have for the asking!

Dope on a Rope – A Rope Rescue Course in the Mountains

August 7, 2012September 6, 2012XPLORE - Out and About1 Comment

Last weekend I headed to the mountains for a couple of days of abseiling and climbing with the team from the Australian School of Mountaineering (ASM) at Katoomba.

The setting was the spectacular Blue Mountains, an internationally recognised World Heritage Area where you can bush walk, mountain bike, abseil, climb and canyon in any number of spectacular locations, and at night sit around a log fire in one of the many inviting hotels, or bed and breakfast establishments. Unless you choose to camp out in the elements, and there are plenty of places where you can do that, all within two hour’s drive from the centre of Sydney.

Janet, my partner, and two of her girlfriends joined me for the weekend, although they were there to support the local economy in the numerous dress shops and art and craft boutiques that are part of the make-up of the small towns and villages in the region, not to dangle from the end of a rope!

The weekend was a follow-up to some recent training I undertook and an opportunity to learn more advanced skills. The first day was spent learning about gear selection and fitting, rigging of suitable anchor systems, hazard identification and avoidance, self-belaying techniques, and basic rescue and self rescue systems. Whilst there was some theory involved all the training was on the cliffs, and I was joined by two other people from Sydney who came to brush up on some abseiling skills learnt from boy-scout days.

After a tiring first day I stopped by at the Carrington Hotel, a beautifully renovated Art Deco style hotel in the centre of Katoomba, to meet with the girls who were strategically seated in the couches around a log-fire sipping on champagne. Later, we went to a local restaurant, Avalon, situated in an old picture theatre, where we had a few good laughs as the girls discussed their day, and purchases. Although I did keep quiet about the two new ropes I purchased as I’m sure I would have been subjected to some friendly banter, especially after recently writing about their shopping exploits!

The second day was spent on more specialised rope rescue skills, tips and tricks that you need to know if you are going to dangle from a rope down a cliff face. And this included the use of mechanical ascenders and prusiks, and importantly, an improvised casualty evacuation method using Z–drags. These skills will form an important of my tool kit as I make my journey to Cho Oyu and Beyond, as much of the mountaineering I will be doing in the next two years will be glacier based and have the ever present risk of crevasses, so learning to rescue oneself from deep within is important. But like many things, this is all about practice, and you need to take the military approach to learning, just keep on drilling it until you can do it backwards in your sleep!

But alas, despite the serious side to the course it is supposed to be fun, otherwise why would you be doing it? And we did have lots of fun, and lots of laughs. Although the girls were heard to quip that how could anything be fun if it didn’t involve shopping!

Shane, our instructor from ASM, has a strong climbing background and also instructs at a local college on Outdoor and Recreational activities. He was able to impart his knowledge with ease and in a way that could be readily absorbed. This was great as there is a fair amount of stress happening as you are trying to self-rescue yourself from half-way down a cliff. I’ll be doing some more climbing with Shane in two weeks time which will give me the opportunity to hone in and practice the skills learnt this weekend.

And we had spectacular weather for the two days, a little cool at times when the sun slipped behind a cloud, but from our position at Mt York we were sheltered from most of the wind and the view was spectacular from our cliff-top perch – I couldn’t help but think, you wouldn’t be dead for quids!

Dope on a rope?

Well there were times I was feeling that way as I worked to master the necessary skill level with what seemed like a fist full of thumbs, but hanging-out on a rope is a blast and I can’t wait to be back out there again!

Who’s up for some abseiling and climbing?

Three Girls and their Credit Cards – It’s all a matter of perspective

August 2, 2012November 18, 2014XPLORE - Out and About

Okay, there are many pursuits that could be classed as risky, dangerous, some more so than others, but really, it still comes down to one’s perspective, doesn’t it?

So Janet, my partner, and I were having a bit of a debate about this earlier today ahead of a trip we are making to the Blue Mountains, just to the west of Sydney this weekend.

And I will set the scene here, Janet is no wallflower, together we have flown aeroplanes, jumped out of them, abseiled off the side of the AMP building in Sydney side-by-side, and even rafted down some wild rivers in Papua New Guinea – so there’s no doubting she’s up for adventure and happy to balance risk against outcomes.

So when I said to her that a weekend of shopping in the Blue Mountains with her two girlfriends, we’ll just call them Kimbalee and Lisa to protect their identities, is risky and dangerous it seemingly fired her up a touch. It actually made me chuckle a bit, because it was a bit like when you were a teenager, you know, when you got sprung by your parents, as though they were mind readers, before you did whatever it was that you weren’t supposed to, and left you with no option but to go on the defensive…

“How’s that she asked? And besides, aren’t you climbing and abseiling off some rock walls isn’t that a little risky?” was the retort…

And true, I will be doing that, thankfully spared from being dragged from boutique to boutique, art gallery to art gallery, mind you, some of the art galleries are very nice, and the prospect of being in the company of these three attractive young ladies was pleasing, but I was looking forward to the outdoor activities I had planned.

I thought I’d better choose my words carefully here because as lovely natured as Janet is, she could stare down a stampede of cattle at a hundred paces.

Well I suggested these girls, Kimbalee and Lisa, were seasoned shoppers, fearless and old-school who live to the creed “if you can’t decide which one you like, buy the lot”. In the right setting that might be okay, our bank balance might just scrap through relatively unscathed, but these boutiques were high fashion, and that’s before we get to the galleries…

Sensing she had me on the ropes, of which there was a certain amount of irony, and with a glint in her eye she said…

“But haven’t you always said that if you are going to do something, learn to do it properly, and then go out and practice it until you are an expert?”

True I thought, and about this time I was wishing I hadn’t tried to be so smart, and had just gone about my daily routine without throwing out the bait, so to speak.

I should have seen it coming…

“So how much did you say those climbing boots are, you know the ones you’ll need for New Zealand, $700, $800, I’ve never bought a pair of shoes that have cost anywhere near that amount”. Was that a smile I detected, a cheeky little grin, as she turned away slightly?

I was looking for that big hole to swallow me up, and started to understand just how a stampede of cattle might just be feeling right now, stared down by Janet.

Yes risk and danger, it’s there wherever we look, in whatever we do, and as I climb and descend tomorrow, I’m sure that the klinking sound of carabineers on carabineers will be equalled by the ringing sound of a cash register playing the tune of three wonderful lady’s having fun, and of course, giving their cards a workout…

Abseil – Why don’t you go down upside down

July 20, 2012September 6, 2012XPLORE - Out and About

: Over I go…

As part of my journey to Cho Oyu and beyond I thought it best I start with some basics, learning the ropes so to speak. And for someone who still to this day can’t tie shoelaces in the normal way, learning the ropes and how to tie them off has taken on a different level of importance given the implication will be far greater than tripping on an untied shoelace.

I will confess to having some previous experience at abseiling, my first and only abseil prior to this weekend was off the AMP Building in Sydney a couple of years ago with my partner, Janet, in support of the Sir David Martin Foundation, and assisted by a great Australian Mountaineer and Adventurer, Andrew Lock. I have even exited a plane on numerous occasions, with a parachute strapped to my back, and spent many hours upside down in aerobatic planes, but when our guide for the day suggested I abseil upside down, head-first after a morning of abseil practice, I thought this is crazy, in a nice kind of way!

Abseiling down the AMP Building, Sydney — Baz & Jaz

The setting was the Blue Mountains which is situated just to the West of Sydney and easily accessed along the Great Western Highway. In fact the route to, and over, the Blue Mountains is much the same as that taken by the intrepid explorers, Blaxland, Wentworth, and Lawson when they crossed the Mountains for the first time in 1813. And it was a perfect weekend to undertake my basic abseil course, as we were joined by two couples and their boys, close friends, who both happened to be celebrating their wedding anniversaries on the Saturday. So the Saturday night always promised to be full of cheer, and festivities, if I survived the day. There was even the chance of an encounter with the big guy in the Red Suit, Santa, given the area was hosting its Yuletide in July festival.

Saturday morning in downtown Katoomba and I met up with fellow course participants at the Australian School of Mountaineering located in the Paddy Pallin store in the main street. Some were doing a half day course and three of us had signed up for the full day. And what a fantastic winter’s day, the sky was a deep blue, little cloud, but the wind was blowing quite hard from the west, leaving me with a vision of trainees’ swinging in the wind off the side of a cliff – but our guides, Alice and Jem, or J as she preferred, didn’t look the type that were about to send us to our end…but I’ve found looks are often deceptive and there was a kind of mischief in their smiles.

It was a short drive to Mt York, the site of our first abseils for the day, and following a safety brief, we were gearing-up for our first descents. I was very pleased the gear I had recently bought, a Petzl Adjama climbing harness, as it fitted well and was very comfortable, and let’s face it, this is the thing that you will fix a rope to and so having confidence in it was paramount.

Oddly enough, you would think walking up to the edge of a 100 metre tall building and leaning back over the edge would be much harder than doing it on a small rock formation little more than 10 metres in height, but the heart was racing a bit as I stepped backwards, but what a buzz. We spent the morning on a number of different formations, some with overhangs, practicing newly learnt skills, and of course seeing how many bounces you could get to the bottom in . And I must say the emphasis was on safety, as you would expect.

Time goes quickly as they say when you are having fun, and before long we were heading back towards Katoomba to drop off the half-day participants. It was then on to Narrow Neck for a picnic lunch, and more abseiling. Now I did think it was rather ambitious putting out a small table-cloth onto the ground for lunch, as the wind was howling, and the setting was blown in the air like a spinnaker cast adrift. But it was a great lunch and the company was great, Alice and J were imparting their stories of climbing and caving exploits, which only whetted our appetite for more adventure, so we headed over to the cliff. The first was about a 20 metre drop with an overhang, but the wind was full on as it raced up the cliff. Surely we weren’t going over the edge? My mind ticked over as Alice tossed a rope over the edge, saying watch this! The strength of the wind blew the rope straight up into the air in what would be a great party trick, except the next thing going over was me!

And what a vista we had, looking out over the valley I couldn’t help but think ‘you wouldn’t be dead for quids’ so off I went, and surprisingly, once over the edge and into the full blast of the wind it wasn’t quite what I expected, I wasn’t being blown around like a fly-strip under the ceiling fan after all. A number of descents later we headed over to a larger cliff face, about 30-40 metres with a large over-hang which meant a free-descent down the rope. I couldn’t get enough of it and did quite a few descents, along with the scramble back up the side of the formation to the top, before a short-drive back to Katoomba at day’s end.

And as I headed up the hill to meet family and friends, who were well established around the fire in the Carrington Hotel, champagne flutes in hand, I was pleased how the day had gone, having some adventure in a spectacular setting, learning and developing new skills – and as for being upside down, as tempted as I was to give it a go I didn’t want to scratch my new helmet, so I’ll save that for my next trip…

I’m booked to do the Senior Abseil Certificate and Rope Rescue course in early August, and Janet said she could get used to me abseiling in the Blue Mountains, after all, there was unfinished business in the local art, craft, and dress shops! And TomO, our adventurous 12 year old, who is already an old hand at abseiling, is itching to be out there with me, can’t wait mate (he can tie his shoe laces – phew!)…